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Only now does it occur to me... A CAT IN THE BRAIN

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Only now does it occur to me... that I know now what it's like to live a day in the life of Italotrash Art-Horror director Lucio Fulci.

The circumstances by which I know this involve a latter-day film of his called A CAT IN THE BRAIN, a self-reflexive meta-fantasia that stars Lucio Fulci as... himself.  He is revealed to look kind of like that uncle of yours who never married and wears horn-rimmed glasses on a cord around his neck and sometimes traps you in freaky chats at the family BBQ that begin amusingly enough but evolve into the conversational equivalent of kidnapping.

Ready for his closeup

Fulci wanders Rome while directing his latest picture and has a series of hallucinations; a guy chainsawing a tree begins chainsawing a corpse, steak tartare becomes a cannibalistic entrée, housecats chew on brains, et cetera, et cetera.  You know.

That is one angry cat puppet.

Anyway, aficionados of Fulci's oeuvre will find much of this to be interesting (I suspect the casual fan will not), though overall it has the feel of a sitcom "clip show"––there's not much plot connecting the various gore moments.  (Actually, it's not that varied––it's mostly decapitations.  From the point at which I said aloud 'wow, that is a substantial number of decapitations in one movie' and began tallying them, I counted fourteen.  Which means that there are more than fourteen.

One of shall we say a substantial number of decapitations.

There's also a murderous psychiatrist running around who kinda looks like Sigmund Freud, but that's neither here nor there.
 
 "Now you have a... DEAD-ipus complex!"  ––unfortunately, not an actual line from the movie

Also, I find it incredible that this film was made in 1990––between the fashion and the film stock, my movie radar would have placed it somewhere between 1978 and 1983.

In any event, here are some things that I learned about Fulci's day-to-day life, as depicted in this movie.

#1. Fulci loves flannel almost as much as he loves eye trauma.

Lookin' sharp, Lucio!

He loves it at four-star restaurants, and he loves it on set at Cinecittá Studios.  He just loves it.

Note: Fulci does not say "Cut," but "Stop!"  (of course it doesn't matter because he's dubbed from the original Italian)

#2.  But he still really loves eye trauma.  Here he is wrangling a whole bunch of sheep eyeballs (makes sense).


#3. The ladies love him.  I'm sure that this account about Fulci by Fulci contains no exaggerations.  Everywhere he goes, young women recognize him

and fantasize about appearing in his films.

He is chased around by fans like he's a Beatle in A HARD DAY'S NIGHT, though I feel like those situations could be alleviated somewhat if he didn't have "DIR. LUCIO FULCI" emblazoned on his front door.

Dear movie gods, please let that detail be true to life.

Later, he cruises around in a yacht called "Perversion"


whilst mackin' on young Italo-babes.  Hoo boy!  (While it might seem like it's not the case, I do believe Fulci has a sense of humor about all of this.)


#4.  Lucio Fulci directs orgies exactly like you think he'd direct orgies.




#5.  Finally, I kept wondering if we'd see the interior of Fulci's home.  How well did he do for himself directing incomprehensibly dreamlike art-horror flicks?

When we see it, I suppose we can say he did pretty well, carving out a comfortable upper-middle class existence.  In American terms, I'd say that directing NEW YORK RIPPER and CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD probably is economically equivalent to owning, say, a Dick's Sporting Goods franchise?

Also, for the record, before he died, Fulci accused Wes Craven of taking his inspiration for NEW NIGHTMARE from A CAT IN THE BRAIN (probably a stretch), but perhaps Fulci is indirectly responsible for the wave of self-reflexive 90s horror including SCREAM, HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION, HELLRAISER: HELLWORLD, and the like.

"Video Mass Mixtape #2" Screening Tonight

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Described as a "screening of hidden gems, never-before-seen films,"Video Mass' Mixtape #2: Rarities and B-Sides will be screening tonight, August 10th, at 9:00 PM at Videology (308 Bedford Avenue) in Brooklyn.  

Among the short films will be two by yours truly, including ESCAPE FROM STATEN ISLAND and MUSTACHE PARTY.   Admission is free!

Only now does it occur to me... THE QUICK AND THE DEAD

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Only now does it occur to me... that the first time Sharon Stone produced a vanity project (this was her first-ever producer credit) she chose a Western mash-up of UNFORGIVEN and BLOODSPORT.

Written by Simon West (best known to readers of this site for his twisted fairy tale adventure THE 10TH KINGDOM) and script-doctored by Joss Whedon, THE QUICK AND THE DEAD is revenge tale told from beneath the shadow of ONCE UPON A TIME WITH WEST, but with the trappings of UNFORGIVEN.

[Gene Hackman essentially plays "Little Bill" once more, although this time he shamelessly phones in his performance.

Also, a criminally under-used Lance Henriksen is our stand-in for Richard Harris'"English Bob," but more on that in a minute.]

The aforementioned revenge is sought during a gunfighting contest, which is set up, tournament-style and with plenty of montages, almost exactly like the Kumite in BLOODSPORT.  Though directed with stylistic panache by Sam Raimi (a Raimi Western?!––hey, at least it's got "dead" in the title), it's never quite as good as it ought to be, and for a movie lined wall-to-wall with Leone-style duel scenes, it's rarely exciting.  A "too much of a good thing" scenario of there ever was one. 


A few small observations:

#1. Mopey Sharon Stone.  I don't know why, but when actors produce their own vanity projects, they usually make sure that they get to do plenty o' mopin'.  They want as much screen-time as possible to knead their brows and get that sad, faraway look in their eyes.



This is a Revenge-Gunfighting-Kumite movie for godssake, and Sharon Stone is over here patronizing the audience and jonesin' for an Oscar.  They should've just had Charlize Theron do it.


#2.  Big stars for cheap!  There's a pre-TITANIC and ROMEO + JULIET Leo DiCaprio:

and a pre-L.A. CONFIDENTIAL and GLADIATOR Russell Crowe:

They're fine.


#3.  Alan Silvestri totally plagiarizes his own soundtrack for PREDATOR throughout this movie.  It's a good soundtrack, but I kept waiting for the Predator to show up and enter the tournament.  Now that would've been something.


#4.  Bruce Campbell had a scene, but it was deleted.  They should release it in a collection with the deleted Alice Cooper scene from MAVERICK.


#4.  Keith David.  Massively underused, but wearing one of the best/worst fake mustaches in memory.

A fair trade, I suppose.


#5.  Lance Henriksen.  He's not around for long, but he essentially steals the movie as "Ace," a trick-shooter with a tremendous fashion sense.

The way he looks makes me furious that he never popped up in a supporting role on DEADWOOD.


#6. A Woody Strode cameo.

He's pretty ancient at this point, but he has a brief bit as a the town undertaker, and it's a nice throwback to ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST.


#7.  Mick Garris.  Errr–––WHAT?!

Seen here on the left manhandling Gary Sinise, Mick Garris (infamous Stephen King crony and director of laughable King adaptations like THE STAND, THE SHINING, DESPERATION, RIDING THE BULLET, and QUICKSILVER HIGHWAY) plays a glorified extra during a Sharon Stone flashback.  I have to say that when I woke up this morning, I never imagined my day would have Mick Garris in it.  Well, there he is.

–Sean Gill

Only now does it occur to me... THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE

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Only now does it occur to me... that I must submit the following, without comment.

Junta Juleil's Updated, Browsable List of Reviews– August 2015

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BALTIKA EXTRA 9 (2008, Russia)BANANAS (1971, Woody Allen)THE BAND WAGON (1953, Vincente Minnelli)
BARFLY (1987, Barbet Schroeder)
BASKET CASE (1982, Frank Henenlotter)
BATTLE IN HEAVEN (2005, Carlos Reygadas)
BEAT GIRL (1959, Edmond T. Gréville)
BEAT STREET (1984, Stan Lathan)
THE BEGUILED (1971, Don Siegel)
BEST WORST MOVIE (2009, Michael Stephenson)
BEVERLY HILLS COP II (1987, Tony Scott) BIG (1988, Penny Marshall)
BIG BLOW (2000, United States)
THE BIG CLEAN (198?, Michael Ironside)
THE BIG EASY (1986, Jim McBride)
BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA (1986, John Carpenter)
"BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA" (1986, The Coup de Villes)
BIGGER THAN LIFE (1956, Nicholas Ray)
BILL AND COO (1948, Dean Riesner)
THE BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE (1970, Dario Argento)
BLACK BOOK (2006, Paul Verhoeven)
THE BLACK CAT (2007, Stuart Gordon)
BLACK MOON RISING (1986, Harley Cokliss)
A BLADE IN THE DARK (1983, Lamberto Bava)
BLADE RUNNER (1982, Ridley Scott)BLIND FURY (1989, Philip Noyce)BLOOD BATH (1966, Jack Hill & Stephanie Rothman)
THE BLOOD OF HEROES (1989, David Webb Peoples)
BLOODSPORT (1988, Newt Arnold)
BLOODSPORT 2: THE NEXT KUMITE (1996, Alan Mehrez)BLOODSPORT III (1996, Alan Mehrez) BLOODSPORT 4: THE DARK KUMITE (1999, Elvis Restaino)BLUE CHIPS (1994, William Friedkin)
BLUE COLLAR (1978, Paul Schrader)
BLUE DIAMOND BEER (2005, China)
BLUE STEEL (1989, Kathryn Bigelow)
THE BLOB (1988, Chuck Russell)
BLOOD WORK (2002, Clint Eastwood)
BOARDING GATE (2008, Olivier Assayas)
BODY DOUBLE (1984, Brian De Palma)
BODY BAGS (1993, John Carpenter & Tobe Hooper)
BODY OF EVIDENCE (1993, Uli Edel)
BODY PARTS (1991, Eric Red)
BOOMERANG (1992, Reginald Hudlin) BORDELLO OF BLOOD (1996, Gilbert Adler)
BORDERLINE (1980, Jerrold Freedman)
BOXING HELENA (1993, Jennifer Chambers Lynch)
THE BOY WHO COULD FLY (1986, Nick Castle)
BOYZ N THE HOOD (1991, John Singleton)BRAIN DEAD (1990, Adam Simon)
BRAINSCAN (1994, John Flynn)
BREWSTER'S MILLIONS (1985, Walter Hill)
BRAZIL (1985, Terry Gilliam)
BREAKING GLASS (1980, Brian Gibson)
BROKEN ARROW (1996, John Woo)
BRONCO BILLY (1980, Clint Eastwood)
BRONX WARRIORS (1982, Enzo G. Castellari)
THE BUDDY HOLLY STORY (1978, Steve Rash)
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (1992, Fran Rubel Kazui)
BUIO OMEGA (1979, Joe D'Amato)
BULLET TO THE HEAD (2013, Walter Hill)
BULLETPROOF (1988, Steve Carver)
BUNNY O'HARE (1971, Gerd Oswald)
THE BURNING (1981, Tony Maylam)
BURNT OFFERINGS (1976, Dan Curtis)
THE BUTLER (2013, Lee Daniels)
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RIP, Wes Craven

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I'm sorry to report on the passing of Wes Craven, a gentleman and a scholar, one of the all-time great masters of horror who made his indelible mark on the genre with A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, NEW NIGHTMARE, SCREAM, LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT, and THE HILLS HAVE EYES. He had such range in his deeper cuts, too, with offbeat masterpieces like THE PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS, DEADLY FRIEND, and THE SERPENT AND THE RAINBOW.  In Freddy Krueger, he invented one of horror's enduring icons, and while Wes didn't approve of everyridiculousiterationof thecharacter, I love Freddy in all of his terror and his hilarity, a Grand Guignol superstar for our times.  [I mean, as of this moment, I have a plastic Freddy glove, a Freddy goblet, and a sticker that says "Freddy for President" all within sight of my computer.  That speaks less to Freddy's album and one-liners than it does to Wes' capacity to effortlessly conjure our primal fears and visceral anxieties in a way that is ultimately exhilarating.]

About five years ago at IFC, it was my honor to briefly chat with him about the rumors of bizarro goings-on behind-the-scenes of THE SERPENT AND THE RAINBOW.  His eyes lit up, and he told me about the cast and crew having shared nightmares of cows with television static for eyes, crew members fleeing the set, strange wall seepage in hotel rooms, and others seeking mystical protection with local Houngans.  His demeanor was warm, fatherly, professorial.  You can get a great sense of the man from a New York Times piece he wrote two years ago on fear of retirement.

There are plenty of Wes' films I should have written about by now but haven't, but you can read more here on SCREAM 2, SCREAM 3, DEADLY BLESSING, VAMPIRE IN BROOKLYN, SWAMP THING, and even Wes' fun cameos in films like BODY BAGS and DIARY OF THE DEAD.

Sean Gill's "A Temporary Shelf-Life" in Hippocampus Magazine

Only now does it occur to me... BURYING THE EX

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Only now does it occur to me... that I should probably offer, as a public service announcement, the casual advice to avoid––even if you are a Joe Dante completist, like myself––his latest offering, BURYING THE EX, a lazy zombie-romantic-comedy that's easily his worst ever theatrical feature.  I don't have the patience to go in depth, but it is a failure of screenwriting, and I do find respite in knowing that Dante has not lost his moxie––in the past ten years, HOMECOMING, THE SCREWFLY SOLUTION, and THE HOLE all are suffused with his lovely and manic energy, and, in particular, I'd put HOMECOMING up there with his finest work.

Additionally, I must rag on BURYING THE EX for deleting the legendary Mary Woronov's only scene and can only offer, as a consolation prize, a screen capture of the eighty-six year old Dick Miller as "Grumpy Cop," a character who gets all of forty-five seconds to mumble about how kids these days are all on meth.

It was good to see ya, Dick Miller––keep on truckin'!

In closing, if there is indeed a God, will you please, please, please let THE MAN WITH KALEIDOSCOPE EYES happen (an as-of-yet unproduced film that Dante has been kicking around for years, a behind-the-scenes biopic on the making of THE TRIP, with the characters of Roger Corman, Jack Nicholson, Dennis Hopper, and Peter Fonda experimenting with LSD while they try to make the movie).  That is all.



Film Review: LOOSE CANNONS (1990, Bob Clark)

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Stars: ? of 5.
Running Time: 94 minutes.
Tag-line: "A comedy with personality... lots of them."
Notable Cast or Crew: Gene Hackman (THE CONVERSATION, UNFORGIVEN), Dan Aykroyd (DOCTOR DETROIT, GHOSTBUSTERS, DRIVING MISS DAISY), Dom DeLuise (THE CANNONBALL RUN, MUNCHIE), Ronny Cox (ROBOCOP, TOTAL RECALL, DELIVERANCE), Robert Prosky (CHRISTINE, LAST ACTION HERO, GREMLINS 2), Paul Koslo (VANISHING POINT, FREEBIE AND THE BEAN, ROBOT JOX), Leon Rippy (STARGATE, UNIVERSAL SOLDIER), David Alan Grier (IN LIVING COLOR, JUMANJI), Tobin Bell ("Jigsaw" in the SAW movies), Bill Fagerbakke (Mick Garris' THE STAND, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS).  Music by Paul Zaza (PROM NIGHT, PORKY'S).  Written by Richard Matheson (THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN, I AM LEGEND, THE TWILIGHT ZONE), Richard Christian Matheson (THREE O' CLOCK HIGH, AMAZING STORIES), and Bob Clark (BLACK CHRISTMAS, A CHRISTMAS STORY, PORKY'S).
Best One-liner: "Humpty Dumpty's back on the wall!"

How do we imagine our art will be digested?  At the perfect time and place, by the perfect audience?  When I was eleven years old, I watched AMERICAN GRAFFITI, because I loved George Lucas and his STAR WARS.  I liked it, but didn't really get it.  I wasn't old enough.  Saw it again when I was nineteen.  I was beginning to understand.  Take Noah Baumbach's KICKING AND SCREAMING: it's a film about listless college graduates entering the real world.  I rented it with my friends, on VHS, the last week of college before commencement.  We loved it, but I didn't realize how hard it could hit until I watched it four months later, scraping along in a dirty, rented room.  I don't think they should assign THE GREAT GATSBY to high school kids.  I don't think you can properly unravel it until you've had a dream and tried to chase it.
Naturally, all of this begs the question: when is the proper time to watch LOOSE CANNONS?

LOOSE CANNONS purports to be a loose and zany collection of scenes arranged into a buddy cop comedy involving split personalities.

Indeed, the film itself suffers from multiple personality disorder: it is produced by Aaron Spelling and René Dupont; the former built a television empire founded on garish, bourgeois romantic fantasy (THE LOVE BOAT, MELROSE PLACE, DYNASTY, BEVERLY HILLS 90210, SUNSET BEACH, etc.) and the latter produced films for Charles Chaplin and Stanley Kubrick (A KING IN NEW YORK and LOLITA, respectively).  It is written by horror/sci-fi legend Richard Matheson (who wrote some of the best TWILIGHT ZONES and serious novels like SOMEWHERE IN TIME and WHAT DREAMS MAY COME) and his son, Richard Christian Matheson.  It is directed and co-written by Bob Clark, who brought us family fare like A CHRISTMAS STORY, teen sex comedies like PORKY'S, holiday slashers like BLACK CHRISTMAS, and indescribable musical trainwrecks like RHINESTONE.  It stars an A-list dramatic actor (Gene Hackman) and a (then) A-list comedic actor (Dan Aykroyd).

It co-stars Dom DeLuise and an entire battery of "that guy!" character actors from gritty crime flicks of the 70s and 80s.  It features a soundtrack from Paul Zaza, who oversaw the horror-disco-sanity of PROM NIGHT.  The plot involves Nazi sex tapes and S&M and one-liners and mental illness––hey, what is this, anyway?  Who was this made for?  Who was meant to digest it? And when? 

In 1990, Siskel and Ebert described it as "the cop-buddy comedy that hits new lows in an undisputed field."  It was a financial failure, recouping only $5 million of a $15 million budget.  In 2015, it holds a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes.  As far as I know, it has not secured a cult following in the interim, even among bad movie aficionados.  For twenty-five years, unmoored, adrift, LOOSE CANNONS has not found its audience.  It has not yet discovered its proper time and place.  How does one judge such a film?  I'm not even quite sure it is a film; it may very well be a ghost on the haunt.

Gene Hackman's cat is named "Camus."  Dan Aykroyd is afraid to go to an S&M club, "not that I'm a Trudy Prudy or anything like that."

Do we blame this for EXIT TO EDEN

The club has go-go dancers wearing KISS-style body paint and this is distressing to Dan Aykroyd.

Aykroyd says "I always annoy people.  I don't mean to."  It is something of an understatement.

At different points throughout the film, Aykroyd "becomes" The Road Runner, Scotty for STAR TREK, The Cowardly Lion, and The Wicked Witch.  It is explained that he is only this way because he was tortured by a Columbian named "Armando."

We, however, were tortured by a Canadian named Aykroyd?

Aykroyd and Hackman drive around in a battered old station wagon full of kitty litter.

 "I have a hole in my ass."  ––"That's why they call you an asshole!"
 
Later, the station wagon smashes into a stack of crates filled with chickens.

 Gene Hackman wields a blunderbuss.
 
Dom DeLuise appears, looking like latter-day Orson Welles, wearing a King of Hearts costume

and, later, vests made from the upholstery of grandmothers' couches.

He exclaims "They're fucking with the wrong Jew this time!"

This is because he's involved in a international conspiracy searching for a snuff/pornographic/ritual sex-suicide film starring Adolf Hitler and the guy (Robert Prosky) who's going to be the next German chancellor.


"I saw a movie, XXX-style, only this one starred Hitler and a couple of other guys!" 

Paul Koslo plays a Nazi, who waves a gun around and does Nazi things.

Ronny Cox plays an FBI handler, who sure has his hands full with these two.

David Alan Grier shows up and tries to pretend he's not actually in the movie.

"How do you know the killer's German," asks Gene Hackman.  "Because there's no peepee hole on the boxers," says Dan Aykroyd.

Dom DeLuise is rolled around in a wheelchair.  This is supposed to make us smile because he is a fat man.  It actually makes us smile because Dom DeLuise is a warm and sympathetic human being who inspires warm feelings everywhere he goes.

We begin to wonder if GHOSTBUSTERS would have been insufferable if it didn't also have Bill Murray, Harold Ramis, and Ernie Hudson.

"Let me know if you ever find yourself, kid, cause I'd love to meet you," says Gene Hackman.

And somewhere between it's first and ninety-fourth minute, the film ends.  What was it?  I 'm not sure.  It all happened so fast, officer...

So when and where was LOOSE CANNONS' proper time and place?  If I had watched it on some other evening, at some other point in my life, would it have really "clicked" with me?  For all I know, this film is a triggering device for some as-of-yet-unhatched MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE-style plot, and that's it's proper time and place.  Or perhaps it was Calgary in 2013, when frames from a discarded reel of LOOSE CANNONS were discovered in a Canadian landfill, prompting an employee to believe he'd stumbled upon the remains of an actual snuff film.  It was finally determined to be a staged murder when Calgary police realized the man doing the murdering was Dan Aykroyd.

His name cleared, Aykroyd said "The movie should have been left in the landfill where it belongs."

Perhaps that is it's time and place.  This impossible confluence of writers, actors, and producers––arthouse, grindhouse, and studio system alike––converging on a genre that was mostly played out by 1990, on a film that was seen and loved by almost no one.  Rotting away, unseen, unsung...  Perhaps this landfill copy of LOOSE CANNONS, this temporary piece of crime scene evidence, ought to be screened as-is, DECASIA-style, as an art installation piece reminding us of this fine line between fiction and non-fiction, between sanity and madness.  What's the half-life of celluloid?  We'd better screen it while there's still something left, before we can no longer properly loop the reel across the spools and project.  Maybe the cannons are loose, not because they're a hot-doggin' cop and his mentally ill partner; maybe they're loose because the cannons are fleeting, life is fleeting, the cannons are slip, slipping away.

LOOSE CANNONS, ladies and gentlemen.

–Sean Gill

Only now does it occur to me... INVITATION TO LOVE

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Only now does it occur to me.... that TWIN PEAKS' soap-within-a-soap INVITATION TO LOVE must be set in Los Angeles, 2019...because it takes place inside Rick Deckard's apartment from BLADE RUNNER!

INVITATION TO LOVE...


...and BLADE RUNNER.

Those familiar with Frank Lloyd Wright (and perhaps Hollywood in general) may recognize the unique architecture of Ennis House, which has been used as a location (and sometimes recreated on set) in everything from THE HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL to THE ROCKETEER to THE GLIMMER MAN to BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER to THE DAY OF THE LOCUST.  I have always personally associated the distinctive tilework with BLADE RUNNER, and somehow, despite having watched TWIN PEAKS in its entirety at least five times, had never noticed Ennis House's presence on INVITATION TO LOVE until just this week.

Also, David Lynch must have been quite taken with the architecture, because he duplicated the tiles on the doorway to the Club Silencio in MULHOLLAND DRIVE.

Sean Gill's "Cranberry's Last Dance" in Akashic Books

Film Review: DROP ZONE (1994, John Badham)

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Stars: 3.5 of 5.
Running Time: 101 minutes.
Tag-line: "Something dangerous is in the air."
Notable Cast or Crew: Wesley Snipes (DEMOLITION MAN, BLADE), Gary Busey (SURVIVING THE GAME, LETHAL WEAPON), Yancy Butler (HARD TARGET, THE EX), Michael Jeter (THE FISHER KING, JURASSIC PARK III), Malcolm-Jamal Warner (THE COSBY SHOW, SONS OF ANARCHY), Grace Zabriskie (TWIN PEAKS, WILD AT HEART), Corin Nemec (TV's THE STAND, PARKER LEWIS CAN'T LOSE), Mickey Jones (TOTAL RECALL, EXTREME PREJUDICE), Kimberly Scott (THE ABYSS, BATMAN & ROBIN).  Music by Hans Zimmer (THE ROCK, BROKEN ARROW).  Directed by John Badham (SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER, WARGAMES, THE HARD WAY, SHORT CIRCUIT, BLUE THUNDER).
Best One-liner:  "God bless America!" [said by a lunatic Gary Busey––it's all in the enunciation]

DROP ZONE tells the tale of a risk-taking lawman who infiltrates a gang of sky-diving adrenaline junkies and thieves in order to bring them to justice.  You may recognize this as the plot of 1991's POINT BREAK, also co-starring Gary Busey.  Don't hold that against it.  DROP ZONE is simply a mediocre 90s action movie trying to make it's way in the world, but like so many of its misfit and forgotten brethren, when it hits its stride, it really hits its stride.  Here are a dozen of DROP ZONE's such "stride-hitting" moments.

 #1.  Gary Busey as a Poindexter.

He's the head of a corrupt ex-DEA sky-diving ring who robs government buildings, hijacks planes, and the like.  For this particular criminal maneuvering, he has adopted the costume and persona of a "Poindexter"-style nerd (with undertones of Buddy Holly!), who even draws attention to himself, pre-hijack, by explaining to the flight attendants how he's afraid of flying.  Nicely done, Mr. Busey.

#2.  This particular measure of Busey-related violence leads to the death of Wesley Snipes' in-movie brother, Malcolm-Jamal Warner.

He's around for about five minutes, and has "dead man walking" written all over him; he might as well be the cop who's got two days till retirement.  His death is spectacular––it involves Busey blasting open the side of an airplane, whereupon the air pressure sucks Malcolm-Jamal to the precipice, and despite Wesley Snipes' best efforts to melodramatically cling to his hand, he is sucked into the void while Wesley shouts "NOOOOOOOOO!"  Then the film, having threatened to turn into PASSENGER 57, returns to Earth and...

 #3. Let's talk about Wesley Snipes as "Nessip."  The quest for Malcolm-Jamal-related vengeance leads Mr. Snipes to infiltrate the sky-diving circuit so he can personally hunt down Gary Busey.

Because his role is more of the straight man, square-jawed hero, this leads to an uncharacteristically understated performance.  Don't expect DEMOLITION MAN or NEW JACK CITY levels of flamboyance here––you can tell he's a little frustrated with his role.  Perhaps because of this, the character is named "Nessip," which is an anagram of "Snipes."  Did Wesley request this personally?  Did having his own scrambled name in the mix somehow placate his ego?

#4.  Gary Busey Teeth Domination.  The aforementioned hijacking took place so that Busey could kidnap a hacker (played by talented character actor Michael Jeter) held in federal custody.  To assert dominance, Busey bites off his finger with his ginormous teeth, an event which leads to the following, brilliant exchange:

#5.  Poor man's Linda Hamilton.  You may recognize Yancy Butler and her intense eyebrows from JCVD's HARD TARGET.
Here, she plays Snipes' sidekick, a daredevil with a heart of gold.  She skydives and looks sad a lot.

#6. Hey, look, it's Mickey Jones!  Real-life best friend of Michael Ironside, former drummer for Bob Dylan, and go-to "hick" supporting player,
Mickey Jones plays a member of (fellow Texan) Busey's gang, which only seems natural.

#7.  A rockin' Hans Zimmer soundtrack.  This is from the era when he really went "full-guitar" and accompanied his pounding action with mournful, Ry Cooder-style riffs.  See also: BROKEN ARROW.

#8.  Grace Zabriskie as a two-fisted, Floridian flygirl and parachute jockey.
When you're watching her here, the idea that she is also "Sarah Palmer" from TWIN PEAKS is veritably mind-blowing.  I swear, she can pull off anything she sets her mind to––truly, she's one of the greats.  Plus, we finally get to see her with Wesley Snipes as a scene partner.
And this is the second time they've worked together!  See also: THE WATERDANCE (1992).

#9.  Gary Busey parachuting in zebra-print pajama pants.
I feel confident in stating this is worth the price of admission.

#10.  MIAMI VICE.  About halfway through, when I realized it was not going to deviate from its Florida locale, I began to discover that this is really kind of a big-budget MIAMI VICE episode, but with no Crockett, and with Busey perfectly encapsulating a vivid, "criminal of the week" guest star.

That's fine by me.

#11. Gary Busey Teeth Domination, Volume 2.  Busey challenges Yancey Butler to a tooth domination competition.  
He wins, obviously.

#12.  Busey's death––a.k.a. Gary Busey Teeth Domination, Volume 3.  Technically, I wouldn't call this a spoiler, since in every action movie from the 1980s and 1990s in which he played a villain, Busey dies.  Here, Wesley Snipes flings him out of a skyscraper without a parachute, and he goes to meet his maker in typical Busey fashion, teeth bared.


He swan-dives directly into the windshield of a truck being driven by Mickey Jones, and explodes.


In his final moments, he attempted to tooth dominate Death Itself.  Who are we to say that he did not succeed?

––Sean Gill

Sean Gill's "Hello in There" in Word Riot

Film Review: SCANNERS (1981, David Cronenberg)

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Stars: 5 of 5.
Running Time: 103 minutes.
Tag-line: "There are 4 billion people on earth. 237 are Scanners. They have the most terrifying powers ever created... and they are winning."
Notable Cast or Crew:  Michael Ironside (TOTAL RECALL, EXTREME PREJUDICE, CHAINDANCE), Patrick McGoohan (THE PHANTOM, BRAVEHEART, THE PRISONER), Jennifer O'Neill (A FORCE OF ONE, RIO LOBO), Stephen Lack (DEAD RINGERS, HEAD ON), Lawrence Dane (HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, BRIDE OF CHUCKY), Robert A. Silverman (EXISTENZ, NAKED LUNCH, JASON X), Fred Doederlein (SHIVERS).  Music by Howard Shore (THE LORD OF THE RINGS, AFTER HOURS, VIDEODROME).  Cinematography by Mark Irwin (THE FLY, VIDEODROME, WES CRAVEN'S NEW NIGHTMARE, DUMB & DUMBER).
Best One-liner: "You murdered the future!"

SCANNERS is an achievement in unrelenting atmosphere. It is perhaps (along with VIDEODROME) the purest filmic distillation of a particular paranoid, Philip K. Dick-ian, modernist sci-fi vibe.  It is a film meant to be experienced, not quite digested; a sensory assault in varying modulations.  Sometimes it comes to you as white noise, sometimes it careens with a metallic shriek.


If THE BROOD (Cronenberg's previous feature) is his most personal film (dealing with the fallout of his divorce), then SCANNERS might be his most "impersonal."  This is a compliment.  The writing,  performances, set design, sound design, and direction conspire to keep you at an arm's length.  (I would say it is Cronenberg at his most Kubrickian.) The future is now, and it has all the sterility and detachment of a doctor's office, a psych ward, or a chemical storage depot.

It settles around you, slowly but relentlessly, like silt collecting on a river bottom, suddenly pressing down, pressing down... invisible, a force field, a barely perceptible hum, like someone's thumbing through your mind, aimlessly flipping the pages... like you're being scanned––

OH DEAR LORD!

SCANNERS is perhaps an unusual film to kick off my Halloween season, but for all of its sci-fi trappings, I would say that it aims primarily to disquiet and unsettle.  It is a horror film in the sense that ERASERHEAD is a horror film; it's not a "crowd-pleaser," but you stumble out of the theater afterward, staggering down streets you thought you knew so well, but now, under the film's spell, feel somehow different.  Malevolent.  This movie has a half-life.  It lingers.  Howard Shore's incredibly atmospheric electro-mayhem penetrates your mind; it sounds like early Wendy Carlos, the deep cuts, like the music they briefly use while torturing Alex DeLarge.

In one of the film's rare, human moments, an artist (played by character actor Robert A. Silverman, a favorite of Cronenberg's) confronts cold, sterile modernity through his sculpture.

"My art... keeps me sane," he says.  "Art.  Sane."  In this moment, though you realize that the character is not quite reaching his goal of long-term sanity, perhaps it is Cronenberg himself making this confession.
 
The sculptor's art includes an enormous, walk-in head.  SCANNERS is not unlike this sculpture; a sensory journey deep within the mind, evoking feelings of surprise, wonder, and dread.

You may have noticed that I'm going out of my way not to describe the plot of SCANNERS, which is a mystery best unfolded by a first-time viewer.  I'm not even going to divulge what happens in the immediate aftermath of this screen capture,

an image that has likely been spoiled for you already by popular culture, even if you've never heard of SCANNERS.

Instead, I'm going to take my usual jaunt down Minutiae Lane, and place a few, out-of-context specifics under my microscope.

#1.  I have seen your dystopian future... and it is a Canadian megamall from the 1980s!


I kinda love it... obviously.


#2. THE PRISONER keeps a prisoner.


At one point, THE PRISONER's Patrick McGoohan is holding Stephen Lack captive in a medical facility.  McGoohan is always great, and here he's occupying an early Cronenbergian archetype––that of the semi-creepy, semi-fatherly techno-sage.  See also: Oliver Reed's "Dr. Raglan" in THE BROOD or Jack Creley's "Brian O'Blivion" in VIDEODROME.


#3. Mark Irwin's Cinematography.

His lens captures that Canadian color palette so well.  His framing is exceptional, glossy and sterile––he does much of the heavy lifting in building the aforementioned "paranoid modernist" atmosphere.


#4. Dick Smith's (and his team, who included Stephan Dupuis, Brigitte McCaughry, Constant Natale, Tom Schwartz, and a young Chris Walas, who went on to direct THE FLY II) incredible makeup effects.  While not quite as intensely imaginative as what Rick Baker and Co. would create for VIDEODROME, the work here is exceptional––


creepy, veiny, and "new-fleshy," all the way.


#5. While SCANNERS is no action movie, "it ain't an action movie till they blow up a gas station" is still permitted to apply.

FOOOOSH


#6. Ironside, Ironside, Ironside!  In his breakout role, the legendary Michael Ironside delights and terrifies as the mysterious Darryl Revok.  In a film where the other actors proceed with nearly Bressonian detachment, Ironside is on the loose and off the chain (dance).  He delivers all the best lines, things like "We're gonna do it the scanner way––I'm gonna suck your brain dry!"  He even gets to be suave with a glass of scotch, like a Bond villain in the third act, and I approve of that.

SCANNERS could be described as a "film" or it could be described as a museum of frightening Ironside facial contortions.






At least one of these is Ironside's O-face, and now you can never wipe that thought from your mind.

I've often thought of Ironside as the Canadian Jack Nicholson (and the breadth of his talent is such that it's a shame he hasn't been cast in more Nicholsonian roles).  There's one scene in particular of Ironside in mental hospital, and he feels very much like Nicholson's "McMurphy" from CUCKOO'S NEST


Ironside spills water...


...and so does Nicholson.

Furthermore, Ironside peels off that cryptic n' creepy third eye bandage

and I'm seeing shades of J.J. Gittes in CHINATOWN:

Coincidence?  Or is it one of those weird, Busey/Nolte döppelganger-things that science can't explain?  I'd also like to see Ironside as The Joker in BATMAN (though we kind of already have) or as Jack Torrance in THE SHINING.  Then, I'd like to see Nicholson's take on FREE WILLY and HIGHLANDER II: THE QUICKENING.

#7. So, the SCANNERS end credits are done in the mode of a DOS terminal, which is stylistically and thematically appropriate to the film.

At the very end, the screen blips to green and then to black, but I was sure I saw some hidden text in there.  I freeze-framed and saw this:

It says "MAX SECURITY SELF DESTRUCT SECONDS 1" and then blips out of existence.  Perhaps some other movie has done this before, but so far as I know, SCANNERS is the only film to ever successfully self-destruct!  (I'd seen SCANNERS three times before this latest viewing, and I'd never noticed this detail before.)

Five stars.

–Sean Gill

Film Review: MICHAEL IRONSIDE: MENTAL SABOTEUR (2014, Karen Stetler)

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This short documentary is a simple, twenty-minute interview with Michael Ironside (beloved Junta Juleil Hall-of-Famer and star of SCANNERS).  It was included on Criterion's release of SCANNERS, and it was a good enough interview that I thought it deserved its own mini-writeup.

Shot in March of 2014, Ironside is incredibly forthcoming and speaks to a mix of topics, both weighty and jovial.

He dips into some interesting childhood anecdotes, including one about his grandfather "Jock" who turned him on to science fiction.  "I came from a very poor family. Our house was twelve and a half feet wide... very proud.  You had to be able to escape in books."

He describes becoming involved in the industry as an actor and a crew-person––anything to pay the bills.  "My father used to say that I ran away and joined the circus.  And he was right.  I would do anything to stay around the big top.  I would be in front of the camera, behind the camera, deliver food, I worked for production services for a while..."

He even did some behind-the-camera work on SCANNERS, literally pulling the trigger on the shotgun that exploded SCANNERS' most infamous special effect.

Also in regard to SCANNERS, he tells a sobering story about actor Larry Dane's back pain, describes the contact lens effects (some were borrowed from LITTLE BIG MAN), and coins the term "mental saboteur" in reference to his character, Darryl Revok. He has a lot of praise for Cronenberg as an actor-friendly director, and as a "navigator" of film who never loses his story-compass.

He also speaks about taking his first steps toward the larger, scarier world of Hollywood ("I went broke trying to stay in Canada...  I'd watched people go down to the States and come back with their tails between their legs").

The most amusing anecdote is the story of a dinner with co-star Jennifer O'Neill and her husband, and she asks him about what he's buying the crew for Christmas.  The massively underpaid Ironside says, "What am I buying the crew for Christmas?!––I'm trying to steal my own wardrobe!"  When he learns what salary Jennifer O'Neill is making, he flips his lid.  "It was a major growing moment for me," he says. "You can make a living doing this?"

In any event, this brief but densely-packed interview is well worth checking out, for fans of Ironside and Cronenberg alike.


2015 HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN
2.  ...

Only now does it occur to me... NOMADS

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Only now does it occur to me... that 1980s bizarro arthouse fantasy-horror flick NOMADS (from director John McTiernan, whose work includes DIE HARD, PREDATOR, and LAST ACTION HERO) has––in addition to Pierce Brosnan doing a wonderfully ridiculous French accent–– some incredibly inspired and eclectic casting.

The eponymous band of nomads, who appear as post-apocalyptic 1980s biker punks straight out of CYBORG or ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, happen to include rocker Adam Ant:

singer Josie Cotton (of "Johnny, Are You Queer?"):

sinister character actor Frank Doubleday (who I've referred to as "John Carpenter's Klaus Kinski" after his appearances in ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 and ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK):

Alvin Ailey dancer and Cannon Films henchman Héctor Mercado (of DELTA FORCE 2 and DEATH WISH 4):
 
 and cult legend Mary Woronov (EATING RAOUL, ROCK N' ROLL HIGH SCHOOL).

I would've liked to have seen Paul Bartel also dressed as an 80s punk biker.

Hell, we even have David Lynch's favorite granny Frances Bay as a terrifying nun.

On the whole, NOMADS is an atmospheric fantasy thriller that, I guess, does for anthropology what JURASSIC PARK did for paleontology?

In closing, I never thought I would see Mary Woronov dancing creepily to Ted Nugent guitar riffs as Pierce Brosnan tries to photograph her, in the name of science.



There is at least a Ph.D's worth of behavioral science in this tableau.



2015 HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN

Film Review: THE STUFF (1985, Larry Cohen)

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Stars: 4.5 of 5.
Running Time: 87 minutes.
Tag-line: "It's smooth and creamy. It's low calorie and delicious. And it kills. It's The Stuff!"
Notable Cast or Crew: Michael Moriarty (TROLL, BANG THE DRUM SLOWLY), Andrea Marcovicci (THE HAND, THE FRONT), Garrett Morris (SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, MARTIN), Paul Sorvino (GOODFELLAS, ROMEO + JULIET), Danny Aiello (DO THE RIGHT THING, ONCE UPON A TIME IN AMERICA), Patrick O'Neal (UNDER SIEGE, THE WAY WE WERE), Abe Vigoda (THE GODFATHER, LOOK WHO'S TALKING), Brooke Adams (THE DEAD ZONE, INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS '78), Eric Bogosian (TALK RADIO, SUBURBIA), Patrick Dempsey (CAN'T BUY ME LOVE, GREY'S ANATOMY).
Best One-liner: "Ever'body has to eat shavin' cream once in a while."

Behold... THE STUFF.  (Or IL GELATO CHE UCCIDE––"the gelato that kills," according to the Italian poster.  You know, I think we should just go with that title instead!)  Technically, I already reviewed THE STUFF over six years ago, but a film as deliciously delirious as THE STUFF deserves more than a simple capsule-review.

THE STUFF is essentially THE BLOB for the 1980s, which is to say it's a "corporate" Blob, fully deregulated, and ready for the voracious consumers of the THEY LIVE generation.



Note the EYES OF LAURA MARS-chic: fur coats n' bathing suits!

The premise is simple: a taste sensation is sweeping the nation––it's called "The Stuff," and it's low in calories and high on tastee flavor.  The only problem is, eating it might transform you into an alien monster, equal parts THE BLOB, THE THING, and INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS.


It's tough to get people to care about side effects, though, cause The Stuff is so goddamned delicious and low in calories and did I mention how inexpensive it is?

Sure, the commentary is a little heavy-handed, but writer/director Larry Cohen was butting heads with Reagan-era consumerism, an age of such colorful greed that it's no stretch of the imagination whatsoever to have Abe Vigoda and the "Where's the Beef?" lady hawking The Stuff from the comfort of a yuppie eatery.

"Where's... the STUFF?"

Indeed, that isactually a scene from the film.  And that's why I love Larry Cohen––he's never afraid to take a Grand Guignol or MAD Magazine-style gag way too far.  My only complaint is that there was (so far as I know) no movie tie-in with a marshmallow fluff manufacturer.  Though obviously it would have clashed with the film's philosophical sensibilities, that has to be one of the major missed opportunities of our times.

In any event, here's some of my favorite stuff from THE STUFF:


#1. THE STUFF wastes no time.  In the first fifteen seconds of the film, we have an unlucky nightwatchman discover The Stuff and seal his fate by eating its fluffy goodness.


If this were actually a remake of THE BLOB, the run-time would probably be less than five minutes.  In short, I really appreciate a horror movie (see also: SLUGS) that really cuts to the chase. 


#2.  Michael Moriarty, playing an industrial spy named Mo ("The name's Mo Rutherford. They call me that 'cause when people give me money, I always want mo'."), delivering yet another one of his multifaceted method performances in the context of a B-movie.

He plays Mo as a likeable, easygoing Southern politician who puts a great deal of effort into making his extremely calculated, "aw shucks" persona feel spontaneous.  He's sort of a proto-Kevin Spacey from HOUSE OF CARDS, and it's the kind of work that might have garnered an Oscar nod if it didn't happen to be in a movie about killer marshmallows.


#3. SNL's Garrett Morris as "Chocolate Chip Charlie."

For about twenty-five minutes, THE STUFF becomes a buddy movie as Moriarty's industrial spy teams up with Garrett Morris'"Famous Amos"-inspired cookie man in order to battle The Stuff.  I swear Morris is improvising everything he does, from his dialogue to his karate moves.  I wholeheartedly approve.


#4. The Kiddie Element.  There's a reason THE STUFF is remembered fondly by so many thirty and fortysomethings, and it's because it enabled so many childhood fantasies––namely, that evil food is crawling around in your refrigerator unattended,

and that all the things your parents want you to eat are actually part of a BODY SNATCHERS-style alien conspiracy.

Hell, I'm pretty sure this was the basis for most of CALVIN & HOBBES.  And then there's the catharsis of mounting a kiddie assault on a grocery store with a rake handle:


Note: Playwright Eric Bogosian is one of the stock boys!

It's all pretty fantastic, creepy escapism.


#5.  Patrick Dempsey (later known as "McDreamy" or "McSteamy" or something, on the basis of his faux-Clooney/Anthony Edwards levels of popularity on GREY'S ANATOMY) as a New Wave-y "Stuff Junkie."

Obviously, I get a kick out of this sort of thing.


#6. A pre-respectability Danny Aiello as a spooked FDA official.

He only has about five minutes of screen-time, but he delivers a labyrinthine, layered performance as a public official who is being manipulated by his evil pet dog.  It sounds silly, but I'm not kidding––he infuses the role with a true and existential menace; it's like we're watching ROSEMARY'S BABY or a Harold Pinter play or something.


#7. The commercials.  I've alluded to these already, but THE SUFF is filled with wonderful fake commercials for the titular product, and they run the gamut from the ridiculous (the aforementioned Abe Vigoda/Where's the Beef crossover) to the sublime:



which includes Cannon Films-style "urban" dance choreography, absurd pop jingles, and celebrity cameos (such as Brooke Adams, Tammy Grimes, Laurene Landon, etc.).


#8.  The absolutely vicious corporate digs.  I really don't think Larry Cohen could get away with this stuff today.  For starters, he delves into the particulars of FDA regulation and directly compares the killer secret formula of The Stuff to that of... Coca-Cola.

Later, top executives are force-fed insane quantities of their own toxic product.  I have to imagine every time somebody watches THE STUFF, the CEOs from Burger King and McDonald's and Taco Bell shudder in their mansions somewhere and don't know why.

THE STUFF has balls!


#9. Is it a James Bond movie?

Most of the film's latter half takes place at a factory for The Stuff, and the machine-gun-toting employees all wear yellow jumpsuits, like they're henchmen from YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE or MOONRAKER or the like.  I can dig it.


#10. Paul Sorvino.  As a right-wing military man in the "General Jack D. Ripper" mold, Sorvino is frighteningly hilarious.
Whether he's screaming lines like "The Commie bastards took their own lives!" or commandeering a fleet of taxis (and commanding his soldiers to issue a ten-percent tip),

he's doing his best to steal the movie from Michael Moriarty.  He doesn't quite succeed, but it's a good showing.


In the end, THE STUFF is an irreverent, absurdist work of horror-comedy which frequently rings prophetic.  "Are you eatin' it or is it eatin' you?"  Four and a half stars.

–Sean Gill


2015 HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN

Only now does it occur to me... THE BEACH

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Only now does it occur to me... that you're probably thinking THE BEACH is an unusual pick for my Halloween Countdown.  However, I think that if we begin tossing words around like "(Entitled Hippie) Horror Beach Party" or "Jungle Faux-hemian Cult," or "Man-Eats-Shark, Shark-Eats-Man Attack," you might begin to see what I mean.  In any event, the fascists over at 20th Century Fox wouldn't let me upload a YouTube video entitled "Leonardo DiCaprio's Master's Class in Acting, Volume 1: THE BEACH," even though it was extremely educational and a benefit to society at large.  Instead, you'll have to settle for some screen captures and my vivid descriptions, sans context.

SEE!  DiCaprio leap out from behind a palm frond and hiss at a doomed woman with the ferocity of a rabid mongoose:



HISSSSSSSSSSSSS-HCCCCCAHHH!


BEHOLD! DiCaprio enunciating bizarre and inappropriate syllables while he explains that
 
"As for climbing down there, that is just an...
...ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSHOLE...
SUG-GEST-TION!"

BEAR WITNESS! To DiCaprio channeling his existential ennui (less like LORD OF THE FLIES and more like "BORED OF THE FLIES" amirite?) into believing he's living a low-rent 1990s arcade game,
complete with bad video-pixelation and a generic "jungle danger" concept,

although we do get to watch a giant, face-huggin' spider go to town on DiCaprio's head,

till it's GAME OVER, man!
I for one, welcome THE BEACH into the horror canon.



2015 HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN

Film Review: CHILD'S PLAY 2 (1990, John Lafia)

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Stars: 4 of 5.
Running Time: 84 minutes.
Tag-line: "Look out Jack! Chucky's back!"
Notable Cast or Crew:  Brad Dourif (ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST, DEADWOOD, BLUE VELVET), Jenny Agutter (WALKABOUT, LOGAN'S RUN, EQUUS), Gerrit Graham (PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE, USED CARS), Grace Zabriskie (TWIN PEAKS, WILD AT HEART, DROP ZONE), CHRISTINE ELISE (ER, BEVERLY HILLS 90210), Alex Vincent (CHILD'S PLAY, CURSE OF CHUCKY), Beth Grant (NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN, SAFE, THE WIZARD).  Written by Don Mancini (writer of all 7 CHUCKY movies).  Music by Graeme Ravell (FROM DUSK TILL DAWN, BOXING HELENA, PSYCHO IV: THE BEGINNING).
Best One-liner: "Okay, sport. We're gonna have a little game of 'Chucky Says.' Chucky says move your ass!"

As I said in my review of CHILD'S PLAY 1:  Maybe you have an affinity for killer dolls. Maybe you're a die-hard Dourif fan. Maybe you're a devotee of Chucky's complex, Miltonian love affair with the word "bitch," a relationship that is only rivaled by Fred Krueger's. Hell, maybe you thought you were seeing the film adaptation of Robert Marasco's Tony-winning CHILD'S PLAY.

Nevertheless, you're here––so prepare yourself for a journey in murderous My Buddies, Voodoo enthusiasts, and the foster care system––it's a list of my eight favorite things about CHILD'S PLAY 2!

#1. The opening sequence.  With shrieking strings from composer Graeme Ravell (who later in the same year scored PSYCHO IV: THE BEGINNING) and vivid, VERTIGO-spiraling imagery, it feels like the opening credits to an Alfred Hitchcock... 80s slasher!

I also must give a shout-out to how much the "burned Chucky" from the finale of Part 1
 resembles a Lucio Fulci zombie.



#2. For a brief moment, CHILD'S PLAY 2 turns into a walk n' talk, "corridors of power" drama set at a Good Guy factory, in the vein of Aaron Sorkin.

Sure, it only lasts about two minutes, but it's a nice change of pace, and you appreciate that the film is not simply content to ape the first installment.


#3. Franken-Chucky. As in the first film, we have an "it's alive!" moment, and it does not disappoint.

In this instance, "does not disappoint" translates to there being plenty of 80s lightning on hand.  I approve.


#4. Brad Dourif. Unlike in the first film, the Dourif we have here is entirely voiceover.  We can live with this, because Dourif is brilliant, no matter the context.
He has portrayed Chucky in seven feature films, an episode of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, a horror movie awards show from 1990, and a surreal big-time wrestling crossover that defies human comprehension.  
 
Every time, no matter the venue, the Oscar-nominated Dourif gives it his all.  He has perfected the evil cackle, the gleeful screeches, the poetic utterances of "bitch" and "don't fuck with the Chuck."
Chucky has altered his persona somewhat; it seems he's no longer simply a serial killer trapped in a doll's body, he is an anarchic force of uninhibited childish rage, whether seeking revenge on a Kindergarten teacher he's never met (for no conceivable reason),
or beating the tar out of his doll counterpart

and burying him in the backyard with an exuberance that borders on profound ecstasy.
There's a reason the man has worked four times with Werner Herzog!


#5. Grace Zabriskie!  One of my all-time favorite character actresses (TWIN PEAKS, BODY ROCK, WILD AT HEART, MY SON MY SON WHAT HAVE YE DONE), Ms. Zabriskie plays a social worker, and therefore has a number of opportunities to exude loving pathos––as well as mind-numbing fear at the sight of an animate, killer doll.
She has a memorable run-in with a photocopier, and that's all I'll say about that.


#6. Continuity.  In rare form for a horror sequel, they actually bring back the same child actor (Alex Vincent) to play "Andy," Chucky's nemesis.
 
Most of this continuity arises from the fact that original writer Don Mancini penned the screenplays to all six (and counting) CHILD'S PLAY films.  That's unheard of in a horror franchise, and I can't think of any other series (beyond, say, Coscarelli's PHANTASMs) that is guided by the same voice throughout.


#7.  Jenny Agutter and Gerrit Graham.
 
As Andy's new foster parents, these two are (unnecessarily?) top notch.  Jenny Agutter (WALKABOUT, EQUUS) brings a lot of poignancy to the role, and Gerrit Graham ("Beef" from PHANTOM OF THE PARADISE) brings some reserved silliness. 


#8.  The wonderfully insane final setpiece, which takes place in a candy-colored Good Guy doll factory.  It feels like a gaudy, German Expressionist nightmare brought to life by Joe Dante in his prime: 
One section of it feels like THE SHINING, as our heroes flee through a "hedge" maze made of Good Guy boxes,
 
and another section feels like THE TERMINATOR, with a maimed but persistent Chucky limping along, and he just won't die, he just won't die, and WHY WON'T HE DIEEEE! 
Well done!  Four stars.


–Sean Gill


2015 HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN

Film Review: NIGHT OF THE DEMONS (1988, Kevin S. Tenney)

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Stars: 3.5 of 5.
Running Time: 89 minutes.
Tag-line: "Angela is having a party, Jason and Freddy are too scared to come... But you'll have a hell of a time."
Notable Cast or Crew: Linnea Quigley (RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, SAVAGE STREETS), Lance Fenton (HEATHERS, HIGHWAY TO HEAVEN), Hal Havins, (SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-O-RAMA, ALF), Allison Barron (A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2: FREDDY'S REVENGE, the INXS video game from 1992), Billy Gallo (PRETTY WOMAN, WHO'S THE BOSS), Jill Terashita (SLEEPAWAY CAMP 3: TEENAGE WASTELAND, TERMINAL ENTRY).  Directed by Kevin S. Tenney (WITCHBOARD, WITCHBOARD 2).
Best One-liner: "Festering fuckwads!"

Welcome to NIGHT OF THE DEMONS, a palace of adolescent, blockheaded delights, a 1980s horror classick that probably doesn't have a single original thought in its brain, but that really doesn't matter––it's a charming ode to scares and fun and teenagers making bad decisions while exclaiming things like "Count Dingleberry!" and "I never made it in a coffin before!"

From its imaginative, animated opening sequence (set to some nice, prog-rockin'Goblin-style grooves composed by the director's brother) to its spooktacular finale, NIGHT OF THE DEMONS is the generic, 1980s Halloween party movie that we deserve.

First off, I must say that I really enjoy the tag-line, which taunts much more well-established horror franchises FRIDAY THE 13TH and A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET.  That's ballsy.  This movie is a scrapper.  I think that's why I like it so much.

So the plot involves a group of teens who make the ill-advised choice to host their Halloween party at a cursed, abandoned funeral parlor.



They manage to hit every last note of the "teens in a haunted house" genre, and soon the festivities ("All right, dudes and dudesses, let's party!") give way to a magical totem

(in this instance a haunted mirror)

which unleashes evil spirits faster than you can say "Necronomicon."
 
In fact, it's very EVIL DEAD, right on down to the Steadicam shot of a demon spirit roaming corridors and flinging open doors just before it possesses an unsuspecting teen.



And, yup, that's Linnea Quigley, from RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD, A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 4, and the like.  Usually, whenever you hear her name, it's prefaced by "Scream Queen" Linnea Quigley.

There's a lot to be enjoyed here. For instance, a pervy convenience store clerk (Clark Jarrett) hams it up like a poor man's Bill Paxton:

On the right, obviously 

and we get a classic, dickish performance from Lance Fenton (of HEATHERS fame, as one of "my dead, gay son[s]!"), who made it his business in the 80s to play those jocks you love to hate.

There's an extended, interpretive dance (by Amelia Kinkade) for no discernible reason, aside from padding the run-time. 



It feels like an outtake from THE HUNGER, and is, naturally, set to a Bauhaus song.  But I love it––I love this aimless, Goth freestyling, and I wouldn't take it back for the world!

Later Kinkade glides around the halls in an eerie display which may very well be the film's most iconic image.

On that note, cinematographer David Lewis (who also shot PEE-WEE'S PLAYHOUSE and multiple LEPRECHAUN films) delivers the perfect spooky imagery


and it all ends with a fun zinger involving a gleefully crabby old man (Harold Ayer) who intends to "get back at those meddling kids" by putting razor blades in their Halloween treats.

The gruesome payoff is essentially unrelated to the movie as a whole, but completely entertaining.

It's a classic, offbrand horror flick–––it might as well be called BOO! THE MOVIE or THE TEENS IN THE HAUNTED HOUSE.  It's not quite a masterpiece, but if you're in the right mood––and this is certainly the time of year for it––it'll charm the hell outta ya.

––Sean Gill

2015 HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN
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