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Only now does it occur to me... BACHELOR PARTY (1984)
Only now does it occur to me... that BACHELOR PARTY is exactly what it pretends to be; that is to say, a raunchy 80s sex comedy that is on the wrong side of history on most, if not all, counts; one...
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Film Review: CRYSTAL HEART (1986, Gil Bettman)
Crystal Hearts: At least one, I guess. Running Time: 103 minutes.Notable Cast or Crew: Tawny Kitaen (THE PERILS OF GWENDOLINE IN THE LAND OF THE YIK-YAK, WITCHBOARD), Lee Curreri ("Bruno" from FAME the...
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Only now does it occur to me... GLORY YEARS (1987)
Only now does it occur to me... that GLORY YEARS is an exercise in abject mediocrity. An HBO "five-part comedy-adventure series" following the Las Vegas-centric antics of three extremely mediocre...
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Update: "Of Whitesnakes and Witchboards... a Tawny Kitaen Retrospective"
Only now does it occur to me... you're all gonna have to wait just a little bit longer for the sixth and final installment of the Tawny Kitaen retrospective, given that my VCR ate the copy of WHITE HOT...
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"The Forbidden Labyrinth: On THE NAME OF THE ROSE as a Video Game" in Epiphany
My latest essay––about the 1987 Spanish video game adaptation of Umberto Eco's The Name of the Rose (Paco Menéndez and Juan Delcan's The Abbey of Crime)––has been published by Epiphany: A Literary...
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Film Review: WHITE HOT (1988, Robby Benson)
White Hotness: Very.Running Time: 95 minutes.Notable Cast or Crew: Tawny Kitaen (GWENDOLINE, CRYSTAL HEART, WITCHBOARD), Danny Aiello (DO THE RIGHT THING, THE STUFF), Robby Benson (ONE ON ONE, BEAUTY...
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Of Whitesnakes and Witchboards... A Tawny Kitaen Retrospective Concludes
Now that my Tawny Kitaen retrospective has come to a close, here are the links, for posterity:1. WITCHBOARD (1986, Kevin S. Tenney)2. THE PERILS OF GWENDOLINE IN THE LAND OF THE YIK-YAK (1984, Just...
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Only now does it occur to me... GLORIA (1980)
Only now does it occur to me... that Gena Rowlands truly belongs in the Eastwood-Bronson canon. Her performance in John Cassavetes' GLORIA––as a brassy New Yorker who ends up playing bodyguard to a...
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Only now does it occur to me... THE HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (1999)
Only now does it occur to me... that the most concentrated five minutes of sheer "1990s" ever spat out upon celluloid probably occurs at the beginning of William Malone's (fortieth anniversary) remake...
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Only now does it occur to me... THE GIRL WHO KNEW TOO MUCH (1963)
Only now does it occur to me... that Dario Argento may have tucked an incredibly subtle homage to his mentor, Mario Bava, within his 1980 film INFERNO. (INFERNO being, perhaps, one of the most...
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Who Said It: A Vintage Greaser-Bully In A Stephen King Story, Or The...
A new piece up at Medium.
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Only now does it occur to me... Dick Maas' DOWN/THE SHAFT (2001)
Only now does it occur to me... that on this Halloween I ought to spare a few thoughts for Dick Maas' own "Hollywood" remake of his 1983 Dutch elevator-horror film, THE LIFT. Like the original, it's...
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The World to Come!
I'm proud to announce a new project on which I served in the minor but inspirational role as "kitsch consultant."It's called THE WORLD TO COME, and it's an epic, episodic post-apocalyptic musical...
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Only now does it occur to me... WATERWORLD (1995)
Only now does it occur to me... that the 1990s were all about taking existing stories and setting them on a boat. First, we got UNDER SIEGE. You cannot dispute that it's DIE HARD on a boat. That's the...
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Only now does it occur to me... THE BODYGUARD (1992)
Only now does it occur to me... that Kevin Costner's character in THE BODYGUARD hates boats because he's experiencing psychic reverberations of the trials he will endure in the future of......
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R.I.P., Daria Nicolodi
I'm sorry to report the passing of Daria Nicolodi, a true titan of Italian cinema and a true giallo Hall-of-Famer here at Junta Juleil. In her capacity as a performer, a writer, and a muse, she left...
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Only now does it occur to me... EVERGREEN (1934)
Only now does it occur to me... that in the midst of an otherwise traditional 1930s musical (the British classic, EVERGREEN), we'd take a hard left turn into a World War I flashback fantasy that's an...
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"Rumours" in Hobart
I have a new essay about Fleetwood Mac's 1977 album Rumoursonline at Hobart, as a part of their Jukebox Happy Hour series.(Other essays of mine which have appeared in Hobart include a Jukebox Happy...
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Television Review: CHRISTMAS IN CONNECTICUT (1992, Arnold Schwarzenegger)
Stars: I dunno, 3? 3 of 5? Does that seem like too many?Running Time: 93 minutes.Notable Cast or Crew: Dyan Cannon (DEATHTRAP, BOB & TED & CAROL & ALICE), Kris Kristofferson (ALICE DOESN'T...
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Only now does it occur to me... SOMEONE I TOUCHED (1975)
Only now does it occur to me... that SOMEONE I TOUCHED is the disease detective melodrama we all need right now.It opens with local county public health official Andy Robinson––whom you may recall as...
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